Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.1 Peter 3:7
God’s Word (not me!) says that women are weaker than men, and that men should value them and care for them.
Weaker in what way, you might ask? Are women weaker mentally than men? Certainly not! The valedictorian of the college I serve at is often a woman! Are women weaker spiritually? Definitely not. Are women weaker emotionally Well,…sometimes….maybe alot?….maybe sometimes not at all.
But those areas are not the main thrust of this passage.
Are women weaker physically than men? Absolutely they are. It is God’s design, it is God’s plan, it is God’s template that men are stronger, bigger, faster, and generally taller than women.
And men are to be aware of that fact, and to put a value (honor) on their wives. When something is very valuable, what do you do with it? You protect it!
Men are made to be protectors. It is in our nature. It is in our physical design.
It’s 2:00AM and there is a loud noise downstairs in the house. Both husband and wife wake up. Who goes downstairs to check on the noise? The husband! It is built in to our nature as men!
Men are also spiritual protectors. We are also to lead our families spiritually (Ephesians 5) and that means protecting them from anyone who would negatively influence them.
I protect my marriage by making wise decisions.
I protect my children from negative influences and evil on the internet.
Perhaps the best illustration of a protector is a lion. A lion’s roar is one of the most powerful things in nature. I remember we were at the zoo with my family and we were on the other side of the zoo – far away from the lion enclosure – and you could still hear the lion roar from far away. And when it roared it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It makes you “stop in your tracks”. A lion’s roar can be heard up to 5 miles/8 kms away! And while all of that is interesting it’s even more interesting to study why a lion roars.
Scientist have discovered that a lion roars for several reasons. Sometimes a lion roars to warn off intruders. Other times a lion roars to startle prey so it’s easier to catch. Other times a lion roars to reunite his pride members who have been scattered. Sometimes a lion roars to attract a female lion (I’m sure you knew that). But the most interesting reason a lion roars is that he roars to declare dominion.
When a lion is in his own territory within his own domain, he will roar multiple times over the course of several hours – usually at night – when the pride is most vulnerable. The lion roars as if to communicate “I have dominion over this land, I am protecting and leading this pride.” The roar also sends a reassuring sound of security to the members of the lion’s pride.
Men: when was the last time you roared? When was the last time your family felt your protection and leadership in their life? When was the last time your family felt secure because of your presence?[2]
Real men are protectors.
[2] This illustration is largely from Tony Evan’s book “Kingdom Man”. I highly recommend it.
Real men are more developed physically than boys, and real men take care of their bodies.
This is especially good practice for Christian men, in light of 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Area #2: Mental Development
Real men take care of their minds, learn new things, grow in their knowledge and understanding and wisdom
Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7
Men, read something this week! Turn off Youtube and read something!
Area #3: Relational Development
Real men live in peace and with love in their families and communities, helping others whenever needed. Real men have healthy relationships with those around them.
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.Romans 12:18
Area #4: Character Development
Real men are men of integrity, of perseverance, of saying and doing what is right.
Character is who you are when everyone is looking, and who you are when no one is looking.
Area #5: Spiritual Development
A real man is serious about his relationship with Christ. A real man seeks to be discipled and to disciple others.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11
Real men are developed. Men are mature.
A child by definition does not understand everything going on around him. This is usually proven when a young person gets married and moves out of their parent’s household and starts “adulting”. When you move out of your parent’s house you quickly realize all of the things that your mommy did for you and that you now have to do for yourself. Children are not fully responsible for things in the household. But when you have your own place, you are now the one responsible, and you must develop maturity very quickly.
A real man puts away childish speaking and thinking and understanding and actions in many areas of his life. The problem in society today is that we have a lot of men who are really living like little boys. They are really children. They have not put away those things from childhood.
The words “put away” mean to “abolish, bring to an end, to stop”. There are too many men in our world today who have not brought an end to their childhood.
A child is often easily offended and slow to forgive. Do you know any men like that?
A child wants instant gratification in their life. They don’t want to wait for things – they want it now. There’s a lot of men like that. A sign of maturity is being patient and delaying the reward for the appropriate time.
But real men learn to put away these childish behaviors and operate on a higher level. Real men accept their responsibility and their calling as men.
In the next post, we will look at five key areas of development.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”Genesis 1:26
The word “dominion” means “to rule”. God made man to rule, to decide, to initiate.
God had already begun to bring Adam things to do. God gave Adam the job to name the animals – to be creative, to take initiative, to initiate. In other words, God brought Adam into a place and gave him some things to rule over and make decisions about.
And God does that same thing for men today. Men, God has placed you in a garden. He has given you people and things to care for.
Now, in the context of the whole story we also know that Adam’s task of carrying out dominion (or rule) could not sufficiently be done without assistance. That was the primary reason for creating a helper for Adam – to help him carry out his rule.
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. Genesis 2:18
When people read that God said it was “not good” for Adam to be alone, they frequently assume that God was helping Adam’s loneliness through creating a woman. They equate it simply to companionship. But it doesn’t say that. Interestingly, Adam doesn’t mention one time about being lonely. Eve was not created because Adam was lonely. She was created to help Adam with what he was initiating and responsible for.
God has created and equipped men to be initiators; and just like God put Adam in the garden of Eden and gave him freedom to rule and make decisions, God has put you in your own field to tend it and make decisions.
Real men tend their gardens! Real men do what needs to be done. Real men take ownership and leadership.
One of the biggest issues facing America is illegal immigration as a result of open borders. It has been admitted by our own government that the open border is allowing known terrorist groups to literally walk into the sovereign United States.
How do we approach this problem from a biblical perspective? Well, you have the option to take a deep dive into several passages and resulting doctrines. For that I would point you here to a wonderful article by Ralph Drollinger.
Another way – a less time consuming way – is to look at a single account in the Bible of how the situation was viewed and handled. The book of Nehemiah is apropos here.
Nehemiah had an open border problem.
And in the book of Nehemiah we can see four principles in play concerning how Nehemiah (and the nation) dealt with the problem.
The open border problem was the result of a sin problem.
please let Your ear be attentive and Your eyes open, that You may hear the prayer of Your servant which I pray before You now, day and night, for the children of Israel Your servants, and confess the sins of the children of Israel which we have sinned against You. Both my father’s house and I have sinned. Nehemiah 1:6
The first response of Nehemiah to a situation of national calamity is repentance. I don’t need to detail here the myriad of things that America needs to turn from. I’m sure half a dozen things leap into your mind without me spelling them out. Those things need to be dealt with humbly and sincerely. Repairing an open border starts first with repairing the nation’s soul. Nehemiah understood this. I pray this for America.
Closed borders are requisite to being a nation.
This idea is inherent in the story of Nehemiah. It’s common logic that a nation (a defined people with unique culture) need borders – either natural or man-made. Nehemiah understood this. The king whom Nehemiah worked for understood this. The people that Nehemiah would rally to build the wall understood this. And if we’re honest with ourselves today we understand this as well. Without borders a nation is in distress and the cities lie in waste (Nehemiah 2:17).
It is good and right to ensure a nation’s borders are secure.
And I said to them, “Do not let the gates of Jerusalem be opened until the sun is hot; and while they stand guard, let them shut and bar the doors; and appoint guards from among the inhabitants of Jerusalem, one at his watch station and another in front of his own house.” Nehemiah 7:3
When the wall was complete Nehemiah gave specific instructions that the city should be guarded and watched carefully. This is because he understood the dangers inherent in the unknown. For the same reason that you don’t leave your door unlocked at night, we don’t leave our nation’s border open: the unknown. It is also of note that the people were responsible for both their national border security and their personal safety. Well regulated militia anyone?
It is wise to know who is living inside the secure borders.
Then my God put it into my heart to gather the nobles, the rulers, and the people, that they might be registered by genealogy. Nehemiah 7:5a
God Himself thought it important to have an exact record of who would live inside the border. So, He instructed Nehemiah to make a census of all who would occupy the city. The principles of of dealing differently with citizens, legal immigrants, and illegal immigrants come into play here. Not knowing who is inside the walls is akin to not having any.
Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it Genesis 2:15
Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field.Genesis 2:19-20
From the very moment of the creation of man, God called men into manhood. And what did manhood look like for the first man, Adam?
It looked like responsibility.
God called Adam and assigned him work to do. God gave him responsibility to tend the garden and keep it, or cultivate it and preserve it, maintain it. He gave him the responsibility to name every animal and every bird.
God’s plan from the very beginning was to delegate useful work to man for His purposes and glory. And that is still His plan today – to delegate to us the good work that needs to be done in this world for His glory. And when God cannot find a man, it creates a problem! God’s plan is a man!
Ladies – I am not saying that God doesn’t have a plan to use you. He absolutely does. Read Genesis 1 and 2. But the truth is that God created Adam first, gave him the responsibility, and by the way – held Adam, the man, accountable when things went the wrong direction.
Then Abimelech the son of Jerubbaal went to Shechem, to his mother’s brothers, and spoke with them and with all the family of the house of his mother’s father, saying, 2 “Please speak in the hearing of all the men of Shechem: ‘Which is better for you, that all seventy of the sons of Jerubbaal reign over you, or that one reign over you?’ Remember that I am your own flesh and bone.” 3 And his mother’s brothers spoke all these words concerning him in the hearing of all the men of Shechem; and their heart was inclined to follow Abimelech, for they said, “He is our brother.” 4 So they gave him seventy shekels of silver from the temple of Baal-Berith, with which Abimelech hired worthless and reckless men; and they followed him. Judges 9:1-4
I am a big advocate of choosing team members that have the “3 C’s”: character, chemistry, and competence. If you choose someone who is lacking in these areas, your team and organization will pay the price in the long run.
God notes here in Judges 9 that the men Abimelech hired were “worthless and reckless”. These words together mean that these men were undisciplined and empty, having no direction for their lives. In modern parlance, they were losers.
Jesus chose fishermen, not losers, to be His disciples. They were hard working and knew how to apply themselves. They were men who were able to “find a way” to overcome odds and accomplish a mission.
Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; But much increase comes by the strength of an ox. Proverbs 14:4
The picture here is of a barn or a holding area for oxen, cattle, livestock, etc. And if there are no livestock being kept there, of course the feeding containers and the area will be clean. It will be easy to handle. No mess. No cleanup.
But – if you want to be productive as a farmer – you need an ox. You will increase your production and your effectiveness versus trying to just do it by hand. If you want to have success, you must be willing to deal with the problems.
The same is true for ministry. Effective ministry is messy.
Ministry – service – involves getting deeply connected in the lives of others. And no one’s life is perfect. No one’s life is completely clean and free of problems.
If you serve others, you will get dirty.
And when we start to serve other people and minister to them, we find out that the trough will not stay clean. We find out that they have marriage problems. We find out that their child is having a problem in school or at home. We find out that there’s a major financial problem impacting their family. Or there is a sickness that is difficult on the whole family. Or there is gossip about them that is causing pain and anger. We find out that people are hurting emotionally, physically.
Ministry is messy.
The alternative is that we would just close the doors, stop inviting, stop doing outreach, stop serving. We have a choice to just keep everything nice and clean and calm in our lives.
But that’s not what Jesus did.
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. Mark 10:45
Jesus came to serve – to minister – and it was messy! He got deeply involved in people’s lives. He spent hot days and long nights with His disciples, traveling from one place to another, ministering and preaching the gospel of salvation. He dealt with people who had serious problems in their life, and He had compassion on them. He wept over the city of Jerusalem! He wept when Lazarus died!
If you and I truly love people and get involved in their lives, it will affect us as well. Serving people well in the Lord requires us to have a relationship with those people. And when you have a relationship with someone, when they hurt, you hurt.
Ministry is messy. But it’s the only way to achieve the increase of changed lives.
O Lord, You induced me, and I was persuaded; You are stronger than I, and have prevailed. I am in derision daily; Everyone mocks me.
Jeremiah 20:7
Jeremiah has spent a great part of his life serving God as a prophet. He had been faithful to do what the Lord had asked him to do. He had worked hard. He had prayed hard. He waited for the blessing of a fruitful ministry and great results. But the results never came. Jeremiah had a ministry reality check.
What do you do when your best ideas and the vision that you had for your ministry does not become a reality?
It’s a moment called “reality check”.
It’s a difficult place to be. And it’s where Jeremiah was. And it led him to consider resignation.
Resignation
Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him, Nor speak anymore in His name.”
Jeremiah 20:9
Jeremiah decided that he had had enough. He made the decision to quit the ministry. Lord, I cannot do this anymore. I’ve done my best and no one will follow me. I put all of my time into discipling him or her and now they disappear. I’ve been faithful in my ministry but now people are gossiping about me and laughing at me. I quit.
Have you ever felt that way?
This moment of frustration is where the church loses many good leaders.
During a season of reality check many people decide to quit. I’ve been a pastor for 10 years and in that decade I have seen people give up and walk away from the calling that God placed on their life. But in those 10 years I have also watched people respond in a different way to a reality check. I have watched people respond the way Jeremiah responded.
Recommit
But His word was in my heart like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, And I could not.
Jeremiah 20:9
I love this verse. This verse gives me chills because it is so powerful – it is so pregnant with truth and commitment! Jeremiah comes to the realization that he wanted to quit – everything in his body, everything in his soul wanted to quit but HE COULD NOT QUIT.
There was something deeper than the disappointment. There was something more powerful than the frustration. There was a driving force in Jeremiah’s life that caused him to recommit to the ministry. The gospel, the good news of Jesus was bigger than any hardship he faced.
Jeremiah learned what Paul also learned…
For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.
2 Corinthians 5:14
The love of Christ – the gospel – compels us. It holds us together, it moves us forward, it gives us motivation in times of frustration. We are motivated by the fact that Jesus died for all because all needed a Savior – that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God – and that because He has saved us we do not live for ourselves but for Him who died and rose again.
That overwhelming truth is what was burning in the heart of Jeremiah – it was shut up in his bones – it was a part of his very being. For Jeremiah, for Paul, for me, and for all of us – quitting the ministry is not an option. We have a higher purpose than ourselves. We have a higher calling than our own comfort. The gospel of Jesus Christ compels us to recommit.
In a republic like America, laws are downstream from culture. Politics is somewhere in the middle. In other words, what the culture as a whole is valuing and promoting will make its way into politics and eventually into policy and law.
So, the pulpits trying to impact the law or change the mind of politicians is, in my opinion, too little too late. They key is to influence idea formation. Our culture is the beachhead of ideas. And the pulpit, at it’s most effective, speaks to culture as well as individuals.
Historically, in America and other countries, the pulpit has shaped the cultural conversation by lifting up truth for consideration. Truth produces shifts in thinking. Shifts in thinking result in cultural transformation. And a transformed culture demands certain realities, among them policy and law.
